Maddalena is a “mammabollita” as she likes calling herself, ever since she and some friends started managing mammabollita, a Facebook fan page which was created by accurately observing modern moms. The page aims at talking about stereotypes, expressions and mannerisms of imperfect “stewed” mothers, garnished with a good dose of self-irony, a handful of affectionate mockery and a pinch of optimism.  Aim: to reach out to other moms, sharing identification “status” and the same “stewing events”, to feel part of a group because, all together, it is easier to deal with great challenges.
What you are about to read are five tips to survive pregnancy and motherhood – tips that have naturally been tested by a perfect “mammabollita”!

Do not underestimate your dimension as a mother which, above all, is also that of a woman. As such, it is not just made of your weaknesses but of all the courage and determination that you, and you alone, can bring out. Don’t take yourself too seriously and don’t try to be perfect at all costs. Feel free and proud of yourself as you are – complicated and full of faults, amused, with mood swings, cheerful and sad, relaxed and tense, rested and tired yet unique, special, happy, glad to be alive, to love and to be loved.

Do not overestimate many, too many things, starting from your body, your strength and energy. Give yourself a break sometimes, admit you are tired and struggling. Remember – you are not Wonder Woman. Being a mom is a job that you learn through practice, trial and error, and there is no job more difficult and complex than being a parent.
Don’t overestimate your children because one day they too will be as “stewed” as you are – the right amount.
 Lastly, do not overestimate other people’s opinions and ideas. People whisper, so shut them up by being happy. Put on your best smile, bring out your self-irony, your charm and optimism because they are winning cards.

If you need help ask for it and, most importantly, don’t be embarrassed to do so. You are always so busy doing too much and juggle thousands of responsibilities. You’re only human after all, not a super heroine. Don’t neglect yourself, your passions and the things you like. Learn to share and, sometimes, to ask people to do things for you. Find time for yourself and your partner. Slow down, relax, look after yourself better, don’t give up on having fun and trying, because you are a woman as well as being a mother. There are times when a bit of selfishness and self-regard is exactly what you need.

You won’t manage without your baby’s smile and dear little voice, that says that wonderfully magical (and special, and unique) word, the first a child learns, understands and loves: “mummy”.
And, if you are a lucky woman (and not all women are, as I am), you will not be able to manage without the support of your partner/husband, of discussing things with him, of his helping you, especially when the going gets tough, and of the way he looks at you that is worth more than a thousand words. You will still be far from perfect, “stewed” in your way – after all, a “mammabollita” comes with a “papabollito” – but together you make a whole and a great team.
My motto for when you are desperate it is one of the cult phrases of the perfect mammabollita, a mantra you should repeat until you are sick of it: “it is a just a phase, it is just a phase…”.