Her blog, At Clara’s house, is exactly what it appears to be – a privileged window on Clara’s world, a world tended and loved like a garden. You will be welcomed by one of those sentences that everybody should remember “Sow and have faith, every seed will enrich a little corner of the earth.” Clara, through her blog, sows in the Internet as well, with stories, feelings and reminders of unmissable events (especially, but not only, in Milan). Let her inspire you and experience her travels – she is part Girl Guide, part archaeologist and it will definitely be worth it…
Do not underestimate your strength, of course. You won’t be able to do everything (or even most of the things) you had planned to do. So accept your limits and let other people do things for you. Rest frequently, sleep and too bad if the house is untidy (was it ever tidy before?). Do not underestimate yourself either. You are strong – you always have been – and you will be in this delicate phase of your life. You will be tired and you will feel as if the sky is falling on your head (by Toutatis!), but this is your life and your children. You are the one who decides. Do not let anybody influence your decisions; do not be afraid to “offend” people. Too bad if this happens! You only live once and every moment with your child is unique. Try to act and think as independently as possible, disregarding everything and everybody. Let other people help you but make sure they do not interfere with your decisions. Your husband’s or partner’s support will be crucial in this sense (he must not go against you).
Do not overestimate other people’s advice. Don’t take any notice of people who say “I did this, I did that, when I had a baby…” Don’t listen to people with perfect children who eat, sleep, keep quiet and behave well. Children will be children and newborns (let alone toddlers and older children) are tiring for everybody. Be suspicious of people who are not struggling!!! Don’t bother and go your own way. Share your feelings and moments with your close girlfriends and husband/partner.
If you need help, ask for it and don’t be afraid to do so. If you really need more help, ask a Doula, an experienced woman who offers (non-clinical) emotional and practical support before, during and after childbirth and who acts as an experienced friend. I did not have the chance to hire one, but I am personally acquainted with a few doulas and if I were born again I would surely ask them to help me. Involve your husband or the baby’s father to share moments and tiring tasks. Everything will make sense – this is how you build a family. One day, in the future, you will be laughing about the days when your children when drooling babies!!
You won’t manage without thinking about how fragile your child is and about what your life together will be like. You will realize you are responsible for the growth of another person and, even if this scares you a little, it is the most beautiful and deeply involving experience of your life!
My motto for when you are desperate: Icandoit Icandoit Icandoit!!!!
