To understand what a welcoming, cheerful and positive person she is, just read her very special advice on serene motherhood. Treasure this advice – it is really precious. If you don’t understand it now, come back here in a few years’ time and you will

1. Do not underestimate: them, your children. True, they are full of energy. But they are discovering one thing after the other. Learning is so easy for them, something we have long forgotten. They are looking at us even when we don't realize. We educate them with the way we act because, like sponges, they absorb everything around them.

2. Do not overestimate: other people’s judgment. The people who love you know that, after quietly and politely expressing their opinion on a subject (be it the children’s education, how to feed them, choosing a pediatrician, the best kind of shoes), they must step aside and let you get on with it. You - with your children's father - play the starring role. Together you can go on this great adventure.

3. If you need help: don’t hold back. Real “wonder women” are the ones who understand they can’t make it alone. We know perfectly well how to ask for help: your mother can iron the shirts, your mother-in-law can cook some sauce and bring it round, a friend can pick up your child from nursery, your husband can come back from work and pick up the screaming baby, giving you the chance to take a shower or cook the dinner in peace. We are lucky to be surrounded by people who are just waiting for us to ask them to help us.
Sometimes we get cross thinking we shouldn't have to ask - our partner, our mother should understand when we have had enough. Waiting for other people to make the first move doesn’t usually help. It is much better to make things simple and just ask. It will be easier for everybody! (I experienced this first-hand…)

4. You won’t manage without: affection. A gentle touch from your mother, reassuring you that you are a good mother even when the baby is screaming so much you feel your heart will break. A romantic dinner with your partner in which you can finally talk. The look of your baby when your feed him or your child waving when you pick her up from school, as if there were nothing better in the world. Your friends' smiles, the friends you know you can always count upon. These moments are the fuel that keeps us going because we feel loved.

5. My motto for when you are desperate: think of what you have and never of what you are missing. This is more of an exercise than a motto. It is a way of finding something good in everything and every situation, even the less (apparently) attractive ones. You can always start again from there - from the positive present.

1. Do not underestimate: The passage of time, which, once passed, never returns. I have no regrets about my life with my son (who's almost 4). With him, I have tried to do all I wanted and all I thought would be of help. When I look back, I am truly pleased with what I've done. I am happy not to have to say “if I'd had more time….”

2. Do not overestimate: Maternity books. They are excellent to dip into, but in this field there are no hard and fast rules. No. Every mother must fine tune this special art on her own; seeking out different opinions, certainly, but then choosing her own way based on what she feels is right. It's always better to make your own mistakes than someone else's.

3. If you need help: Ask for it. This has always been my weak point. I've always been afraid of bothering people, and as a result I've made mistakes (for example while breast feeding) that I am sure I could have avoided if I'd asked for help. Choose someone you can rely on with regard to the particular help you need, and trust in that person.

4. You won’t manage without: A fantastic mei tai baby sling. It's the only thing I haven't tried and that I would like to use even now that my son weighs 3 stone.

5. My motto for moments of desperation: How the hell did my granny manage with 10 children? If she made it, I have no excuse.

1. Do not underestimate: Your husband, your partner, the father of your child. He can do everything – almost – that you can!

2. Do not overestimate: Yourself. You will have your weaknesses, so go to step 3

3. If you need help: Ask for it, is that clear?

4. You won’t manage without: Falling in love with your little one. Feeling tired. Feeling on top of the world and thinking “this mystery is marvellous.” Wanting some true ME time. Turning round every time you hear a child say ‘mummy’, even if your own child is next to you…

5. My motto for when you are desperate: The darkest hour is just before dawn.

Arianna (Ariadne) – Mercatino dei Piccoli

So where can you find better advice on how to get off on the right foot as you start the fantastic (and energy-consuming) parenting adventure?

1. Do not underestimate: Your partner/husband. Learn that he can help and expect him to do so unconditionally. You are both parents and must be able to replace each other if necessary.

2. Do not overestimate: Your strength. You are not Wonderwoman and you have just given birth to a baby. Rest, smile, eat, sleep and do not set yourself impossible targets.

3. If you need help: Ask for it in a loud voice, don’t just think it would be nice to have some. Nobody can read your mind but everybody can give you what you need - if you learn to ask for it.

4. You won’t manage without: Making mistakes, so get used to it. All mothers make mistakes - that's life. Be the best you can but learn to forgive yourself if something goes wrong.

5. My motto for when you are desperate: Happiness is free and can be found in lots of little things you can indulge in. If you don’t like your life, the only way you can be happy is by changing it.

MammaFelice

1. Do not underestimate: Yourself when you think about labour and birth. It will naturally bring out the best in you.

2. Do not overestimate: The accuracy of your due date! You could be one or two weeks early or late, so try not to pack your hospital bag and prepare the baby’s room between contractions. If you are overdue, be patient, smile and wait!

3. If you need help: Say so! Do not deny it - we have all been through it and we can all help. Speak to your neighbour, the shop-assistant, another new mum you have not spoken to for some time…

4. You won’t manage without: A good stroller you and your baby can explore the world with.

5. My motto for when you are desperate: “Relax and enjoy your child… Your baby was born to be a reasonable, friendly – though occasionally demanding – human being,” said Benjamin Spock. He also said we should not be afraid to love them and enjoy them - babies need smiles, words, games and cuddles as much as they need vitamins and calories.

Littleelo

“I used to be a manager,” she says. “Now, with two children, I manage what I call the ‘family business’. I do not sit at a desk all day, which makes me feel more alive and interesting than ever.”

Here are her essential tips on how to survive motherhood.

1. Do not underestimate: Your skills. It may be difficult at first, but you will succeed in being the best mother for your child. You are not born with maternal instincts, you develop them as the days go by. One day you and your child will look at each other in the eye and understand each other immediately.

2. Do not overestimate: People who are always giving advice. Mothers and mothers- in-law were young mums thirty years ago – now they are making up most of what they are saying. Accept help, but do not put up with being criticised.

3. If you need help: Say so! Meet up with other mothers, talk to friends. You will find support.

4. You won’t manage without: A husband and a cooperative, attentive father. To be a happy woman, you need good father, not a boyfriend.

5. My motto for when you are desperate: Half your problems vanish as time goes by.

Manager di Me Stessa (My own Manager)

1. Do not underestimate: Your health and fitness! Do not over-eat and try to stay fit. This will help you in the last trimester, when you may be spared a number of uncomfortable pregnancy-related ‘joys’.

2. Do not overestimate: Your energy! I was lucky to have an easy pregnancy so my habits did not change much. I carried on with the housework, shopping, sport, although I was sure I never overdid it, taking things slowly and resting frequently.

3. If you need help: Ask your friends and family. Being women, we are often too proud to ask for help, but when you are pregnant you really need it.

4. You won’t manage without: Your partner. Pregnancy involves you both. Get your partner to make a fuss of you and enjoy it while you can, because it won’t just be the two of you when the baby is born...

5. My motto for when you are desperate: Tomorrow is another day. You will have sad, difficult days but every cloud has a silver lining and soon all will be fine. Just have some patience!

ChiaraConsiglia.it